big sister · mommyhood · painting

Big Sister

Sweet Heidi Jewell is going to make an amazing mother one day. Kid you not, if she would remember to support Harrison’s head, I could probably leave Heidi alone to watch him while I ran errands or took a nap. Not really, you know Heidi will not let me leave her side for a moment. Eating lunch the other day she had to make sure to have at least one hand on my arm/shoulder/leg/some sort of body part of mine constantly. That is normal – Heidi always has to have some sort of contact with me. The contact is huge at night when she has to “touch my cold” as in my arms or face whichever parts are cold. I’m always cold and she is always so hot so it works well for us, except she does not like for me to put my arms under the covers so that can pose a bit of a problem since I have to be under the covers. 

Anyways, Heidi is so funny with Harrison. If he makes a noise she races to get to him first and then diagnoses his need after which she proceeds to tell me what I need to do for him – feed, diaper, he wants her….etc. I only race her because she will find the need pick Harrison up and we all know that might not go over very well. When I am changing Harrison’s diaper she is there to “calm him down” and say things like “its okay honey”, “Harrison, it’s ok, mommy is just changing your diaper”, “Its ok buddy”. Heidi is so comforting to her little brother. I hope that she always stays that way and is protective over him. Protective – hopefully she will grow out of the smothering. The smothering is my job for when they are older 🙂
It is nice having Heidi around because she is like my little assistant. Heidi loves to help out with anything that has to do with her little brother. When I need a diaper or wipe or anything she is right there to fetch it. Now, if I can just get her to throw away the poopie diapers it would be 100% perfect. Wait, no, if I could get her to change those poopie diapers and take night time duty it would be great 🙂 The feeding part would be the only issue, although the other day she asked me to take her shirt off so that she could feed Mickey. 
I have found so many differences in mommyhood having a toddler while having a newborn. Poor Harrison probably does not get much of my attention in the hours that Heidi is around and John is at work. Of course I tend to his needs, but I do not get the extra special cuddle time I did with Heidi. Then again Heidi was a lot more demanding and wanted to be held a lot more, but my anxiety was a little more out of control with Heidi so I probably created a few bad habits as well. Heidi is very demanding of my attention and I still feel so horrible that she had to stop nursing because of a change and not because she was ready. 
Not really sure where this post was originally supposed to go, but I did want to share a few pictures of my little “big girl” and her painting today. We were going to paint outside, but it was too windy so we brought it inside. I was very hesitant to paint inside, but it went alright – even though she did try to paint the floors purple…slowly I am learning to let the creative juices flow and let Heidi be a free spirit rather than control the craft. It is hard to do that, but I am trying!

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