Have you ever felt you were lost in the shuffle? Maybe in school? Team sports? Social groups? Life in general? There are so many times we can all feel so lost or forgotten about. I have felt lost many times. Sometimes you have to learn to push forward and make sure you are seen – even if it means jumping up and down and shouting “I’m here!! I’m here!!”. When we were in the hospital after Hudson was born I felt that way. Lost. I didn’t know where to go, who to talk to, or what to do. Losing a child was foreign to me. I didn’t think that this happened in real life – in my life. The choice was taken from me to hide my grief. I was blatantly pregnant – almost ready to give birth. So what do you do?
The day I was discharged from the hospital a woman came from hospice and handed me a card. That was it. That was the only outreach to a grieving woman. So I had to find sources myself. I had to search how to grieve in a healthy way. I turned to the internet. I found a girl who had a stillbirth just days before me. I dove into her writings feeling so many of the same feelings. From her blog I found another woman’s blog and read over her feelings from the past of her grief. I was then given Stacy’s blog by a friend of mine. From her blog I found blog after blog of women who were feeling exactly like I was. All of us recently suffering a loss. All of us dealing with our emotions. All of us trying and searching for resources and connections in aiding our grief. Most of the blogs I found comfort in were Christian based. Only one blog was from a non-Christian.
Taylor’s Blog; Angie’s Blog; Holly’s Blog; Kathryn’s Blog; Nicole’s Blog; Danielle’s Blog; Sara’s Blog; Trisha’s Blog; Shannon’s Blog; Cort’s Blog; Franchesca’s Blog; Julie’s Blog; Ashly’s Blog; Nicolle’s Blog; Carly’s Blog; Miche’s Blog; Paige’s Blog; Dana’s Blog; Caroline’s Blog; Whitney’s Blog; Monica’s Blog; Katie’s Blog; Stephanie’s Blog; Celia’s Blog; Ruth’s Blog; Lisa’s Blog; Lindsay’s Blog; Jill’s Blog; Malory’s Blog; Holly’s Blog; Stephanie’s Blog
**I apologize if I left anyone out that I read!!!**
What is really neat is some of these amazing women I have even become semi-friends with – sharing new experiences with them as we face the world after burying our children. We support each other and know that its ok to feel the way we feel. Sometimes you can read another’s blog and think “wow – I feel the exact same way”. What’s really cool is that a few other women are also experiencing the birth of their babies after loss (called Rainbow babies), which helps me in the new emotions I am experiencing now.
A month from now is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. There are a few websites out there trying to get the word out. Trying to raise awareness and support for everyone that has gone through the loss of a child. Wouldn’t it be great if there were groups everywhere that went to the hospital to send comfort? A lot more warming than a business card to hospice. Not all women are like me. Some will not (or have not been) be able to find the groups or find anything that could aide or help them along their grief path. Please visit these sites to add your face if you have lost a child. Read the stories from other women. Even if you have not lost a child read the stories. They are adding to the stories each day, so go and visit often. Please also visit iamtheface.org and consider making a donation to help spread support to the grieving families. Do not let someone else get lost in the shuffle…
SIDE NOTE: For those shaking their heads yes in the “lost in general” topic:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”. Jer. 29:11