“You’re her whole world – she doesn’t know she’s Heidi, all she knows is you”. I still remember those words from the lactation consultant at the hospital. Its crazy, right? To know that I am one little girl’s whole world and I am the one person she relies upon the most for everything. Sometimes I sit in awe thinking of that. Mostly I think of what the lactation consultant said when someone else is holding Heidi and she starts getting fussy and then the famous words we have all said, “she wants her mama” are said and Heidi is handed to me. It makes me feel so proud that I am the one Heidi wants to be with and is comforted in being in my arms. I love that I am the one that can “make it all better”.
I try to soak it up everyday because I know that at some point it won’t be this way. One day my little girl will have her own opinions and ideas and I won’t be the one that is her whole world. Soon I will have to share being her world with her daddy, then friends, then a husband. For now I selfishly enjoy being Heidi’s world. I told John I might be spoiling her by holding her all the time, but one day it will all end and I will no longer be able to hold her and cuddle with her. I still sit in amazement at the blessing I have been given. I truly thank God everyday for Heidi. I still sit in awe of Heidi and the journey it took to get her here. I wonder if she will one day understand all that her daddy and I experienced and how it all makes us love and appreciate her even more; more than anyone could possibly imagine.