It happens everyday. I still haven’t find the most appropriate answer (as in to get people to stop asking once I answer), but I have found one that seems to work so far. You know – it’s the “is this your first?” question. I get it several times a day – everyday. My answer, of course, is “no”. Then it leads to the other series of questions. The very first question sometimes is “how far along?” and then “is it a boy or girl?” and then that question comes along followed by “oh, was your first a boy or girl?” then “how old is he?”. That’s when it becomes tricky. You don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable, but at this point I have realized they are making me uncomfortable with the long series of questions that for some reason strangers need to know. People are really nosy, have you noticed?
So the dialogue goes something like this:
“How far along are you?”
Me: — weeks
“Do you know if it is a boy or girl?”
–then some comment is made on how I am carrying so low and how it looks like I am carrying a boy, etc…–
“Is this your first?”
“Oh, what was your first child a boy or girl?”
Me: A boy
“Oh how perfect, a boy and a girl – how old is he?”
Me: (thinking it is all far from perfect) He would be a little over a year.
Now, at this point you would think the questions would stop – clearly if they were listening they would have heard me say “he would be..”. Sometimes people probably think I have misspoken, have poor grammar when speaking, or they aren’t even listening at all. I think the person not listening is the part that irritates me the most. Usually the rest of the conversation is about having two children and blah blah – I don’t even listen anymore because it all just annoys me really. I guess I also get annoyed by useless advice because clearly I will not have a child at home already to introduce BG to. There are a few people (maybe 1 in 100) that catch the words I say and then I can go into Hudson’s story and that is when I don’t mind all of the meaningless questions from strangers because then they can leave thinking.
It doesn’t stop with the questions. Those are just one topic on my list of conversation items that annoy me. Maybe its the hormones, anxiety, and stress I am feeling right now as BG’s arrival date nears. Am I stressed about her being here and having a newborn? Not one bit – I think we all know by now I am ready. We all know its my being pregnant and fear of something going wrong when we’re almost at the finish line.
Sometimes I never know what to say when people say certain things to me. My feelings really get hurt and there’s really nothing I or anyone else can do about it. I know that there is not any substance to comments that are made, but it still stings…its the ones all parents give to expectant mom and dads.
“Welcome to the club” – seriously? I do believe I was pregnant and gave birth to my first child over a year ago…thanks for remembering
“You sure you’re ready for this?” – well, for one I did have a child over a year ago so apparently I was ready then and now I am pregnant with my second one that I am praying I get to keep and not bury this time – yeah I am ready.
“Look what you get to look forward to” (usually said when a child is acting up, crying, or misbehaving) – yes, I am looking forward to it…it sure is better than you burying your child.
“Just wait until you have a little one running around” – oh seriously? trust me we have been waiting and we should have a little one running.
“When you become a mom.” – I will not even go there with this one.
There are several others, but unfortunately this is a post I have wanted to write for such a long time now that I have forgotten other examples, but you get the drift.
Back to the initial subject “is this your first”. Its such a strange thought that Hudson will always be my first child, my first son, my first pregnancy, and my first to give birth to. That’s where it ends. The rest is BG – she will be my first to hear a first cry, my first to give a first bath, my first to bring home from the hospital, my first diaper change, and it goes on and on. It does not make sense that I am having child #2 and I should already be a pro at all of the things you do when having a baby or newborn. Truth is John and I will be learning all of the firsts with our second child. It’s not the way life is supposed to happen, but it is how our life is happening.
The cycle will never stop…it will happen with all of my future pregnancies as well. I guess it is just one of those things that will become easier with time like everything else.