I love them – but not for the reasons you would think. I find it peaceful to walk among the graves and read the names and dates of those that have passed away. I like to sit and create stories of what their lives were like when they roamed the Earth. Reading the quotes and inscriptions is the best part – I wonder how true those words about the deceased. It makes you wonder what will be inscribed on your own tomb and what people will think when they pass your gravestone. Will there be fresh flowers because you are visited everyday or will it be overgrown with weeds and dirt because no one remembers.
I say that I love cemeteries, but as I have mentioned it’s not for reasons you would imagine – or if you could even imagine that one would love cemeteries. In saying this, yesterday was the first time John and I visited Hudson’s grave site since Mother’s Day and the first time we have been there since his marker was placed. (I can hear the gasps now.) We have our reasons – all of which could be listed below, but I have one major reason. I feel that Hudson is with me at all times. I can talk to him anytime or anywhere. His flesh is buried, but his soul is no where near that cemetery. So why – why go to a place that seeming immortalizes our loved ones? I know it’s for respect and memories and a way to show tribute to those that we love, but what happens after everyone that remembers that person is gone? You are left with an unkempt grave with names, dates, and words.
It is also such a strange feeling seeing your child’s name written on a grave marker. It fills you with sorrow and leaves you with an empty feeling. It is final – the end. Even before Hudson I never liked seeing gravestones for children – those left me feeling a sadness beyond sadness.
When we visit we always ask Hudson if he’s made any new friends since we’ve seen him last as we look around for freshly dug graves. There were a couple of elderly women that have been buried there – one in February and one in March, but one caught our eyes. A 9-year old boy, Ashley Mosely that was killed in a car crash in August is buried diagonally from Hudson. I cannot help but wonder how it was to bury a child that you have grown to know and love while they grew and developed their own personality. I cannot help to imagine the hurt and pain his twin brother is feeling right now – knowing that he will never see his brother here on Earth.
So – I ask you. What do cemeteries mean to you and why do you feel the importance of having a place to visit your loved ones?