grief · grieving loss of child · stillbirth · stillborn

There’s a Baby in the Room

Yep, there’s a baby sitting in the room near me. A baby that was born a few days before Hudson was estimated to be born. How am I doing with that you ask? Well, I am just pretending the baby isn’t here. Even now as he is taken into the room beside me and everyone is “ooing” and “awing” I can still hear everything. Not that I have ever been one to jump at the chance to hold a newborn, but the thought of holding another baby right now makes me tear up, actually it makes me sick to my stomach. I have no desire to hold another baby except my own. Hopefully I will overcome this by the time my friends and family have their babies this fall. I want to want to hold them, but the last baby I held was Hudson. Of course I will feel different when we have our 2nd child and I will want to hold my child, but once again I have to remind myself that it was only a couple of months ago that we lost Hudson.
On a side note my friend and I have still not decided on a book to start our book club – any suggestions?

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