grief · grieving loss of child · memories · remembering · stillbirth · stillborn

Hudson’s Due Date

Well, the day has come and passed. John and I had a full day together – beginning with our visit to the cemetery to see Hudson. When we arrived we saw a little something on the dirt – there is still only dirt because grass has not had time to grow. John’s brother, wife, and child had a precious floral arrangement with the cutest little bear holding a butterfly net and butterfly sent to be placed on Hudson’s grave the afternoon before. I cannot tell you how loved I felt in that moment. Seeing what they had done brought such a joy to me in my sadness. To have others remember Hudson and feel so much love for him as John and I do means more to us than anything anyone could ever imagine.
I had mentioned in a previous blog that one of my biggest fears is that everyone will forget my son. Now I am sure that everyone will keep his memory alive and remember him forever. Maybe I needed this day for closure. I know I built this day up in my head and prepared myself emotionally, but it was a much better day than I thought it would be. Again, thanks to God, my family, friends, and amazing husband I got through the day feeling better than ever. I know that I will forever have Hudson in my heart. I also know that I can continue on with my life without being broken. Yes, losing Hudson broke my heart, but it is healing – not overnight, but each day it grows a little more.
On a side note – I am joining a book club. My friend and I have decided to start one rather than talk about babies and pregnancy =) Nurturing my mind!

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